What defines a person with a happy life?
Is it his possessions? Is it his career? Why do many fortunate people instead feel unhappy in his/her life?
Often, happiness is not about something we have, but about how we see things. In this article, I will share how a difference of perspective can mean a lot!
Table of Contents
- Changing Misfortune into Fortune
- Realizing that You are Very Lucky
- Have a Good Assumption of Other People
1. Changing Misfortune into Fortune
Let’s imagine a situation.
A stray bullet from the robbers scratched your hand!
If you were to rate your luck/unluckiness, how would you rate?
Very Unfortunate, Unfortunate, Fortunate, or Very Lucky?
DR. Richard Wiseman, a psychologist, once conducted a research. He gathered many volunteers, and asked them, “Based on your experiences in life, do you think you are lucky or unlucky?” He also conducted a personal interview with the volunteers to see why they think so. Then finally, he asked the same ‘imagine’ question above.
Turned out, most people who are unlucky in their lives answered with “Very Unfortunate.” Meanwhile, lucky people answered “Very Lucky!” How could it be so different?!
One of the unlucky people said, “well, it’s really unlucky that you happen to be in the bank that time.” Meanwhile, one of the lucky people said, “I think that’s very lucky! The bullet could hit you anywhere, you could even die in the robbery, but you only managed to scratch your hand!”
So, you see? Lucky people were able to change their misfortunes into fortune by seeing the positive side. They tend to imagine that the misfortune they encountered could be worse, much worse. That way, they felt better about their lives and in turn, feel happier. They had no burden, nor anything to sulk over.
2. Realizing that You are Very Lucky
Let’s start with a quick question:
Which one of the following blue circle is bigger?
Actually, they are of the same size. But, we perceive differently because our brain compares its size to its surroundings. The right circle seem smaller because it is surrounded by bigger circles.
The same applies to our life. The blue circle represents what we have in life. In both pictures, the size of the circle is the same, but we often torture ourselves by always comparing what we have with those who have more. Our lives became unhappy, because we feel that we have so little!
Rather, if you look below, there are countless people who are less fortunate than us. We have to be grateful for what we already have, don’t waste it, and do our best to help others.
Here is the undeniable proof that YOU are very lucky: Click here!
Anyways, please don’t misunderstand about “we shouldn’t always see upward.” People need to look upward, because it is the drive that pushes them to be a better person, BUT my point here, you must already be grateful for what you have. If you have less, remember that you are already far more fortunate than the countless people out there. Do not envy. Do not jelly. (jelly is a slang term for jealous, can be used as a noun or verb)
3. Have a Good Assumption of Other People
The picture gives you the big image. When you are going to meet somebody you never knew before, have a good assumption of him! Always think that he is a good guy. This will make a huge difference. Let’s take an example.
You’re going to meet a guy you never met before. You’re sure that he is a nice and pleasant guy. Because you’re going to meet a nice guy, you feel happy. As you meet him, you threw an honest smile at him. From his point of view, because you gave a beautiful, honest smile, he thinks that you’re really a nice person! He threw back a smile and act polite. …Wow, doesn’t he just as you expected? Because he’s a nice person, you spoke with him easily and so does he. Before you realize it, he had really become the nice person you thought he would be.
What if the scenario is flipped?
You’d want to have the conversation end quickly. You can still smile, but it wouldn’t be as honest. Because the guy finds you rather…unpleasant, he acts a little stiffer. He doesn’t have as much passion as the scenario before. You, in turn, see how he acts, and before you realize it, he had already become the unpleasant guy you thought he would be.
Of course, this still depends on the person, but it does make a difference. It does give an effect to how the situation revolves. So, if you want to meet with nicer people, make a good assumption of them and be nice to them. 😀
You see, the way how we see our life affects how our life really is. Instead of whining about things, how about we see the bright things of our life and live better? Are you ready to start it?
The great upcoming days are yours!
Do you also have any other experiences regarding perspective, or want to share your own story about it? Be sure to leave a comment, we’d love to hear your stories! 😀
Wiseman, Richard. 2003. The Luck Factor. Miramax Books.
Teigen, K.H.. 1995. “How Good is Good Luck? The Role of Counterfactual Thinking in the Perception of Lucky and Unlucky Events,” European Journal of Social Psychology, 25, pg.281-302.